Worst experience with the opposite sex?

[Caliber]

What's the worst experience you've had involving the opposite sex? As far as relationship/sex is concerned.

My story is a bit of a long one, but it's good....


I had a friend, we’ll call him Polly. He has the name of a bird, so we’ll go with Polly. Anyways, him and I were as close as friends as you could be, you know? I would have taken a bullet for him, and vice versa. I loved the guy. Anyways, he had a sister, we’ll call her Andrea. I was 19, she had just turned 17. Now, over the years she had just been my best friend’s younger sister, but as I grew older, I started to notice how incredibly beautiful she was. I mean, she’s stunning. Not just that, but she had this incredible personality. She had all these fantastic quirks that I picked up on, and adored. Goddamn, I sound like such a bitch right now, but it’s true. At one point, my friend’s parents were leaving for a week long vacation, and asked me to babysit the house. You see, there was a younger son, he was about 7. He needed a ride to school every morning, and my pal worked all the time, and so someone needed to be there to take care of the little guy. Well, me being the most trust worthy man alive, and also Polly’s best friend, they hired me to stay there and watch the house.

Well, over the week I spent hours and hours with his sister. We had everything in common, it was unreal. I’d never met anyone like that. Well, after that, my feelings just got worse, to the point that I fell in love with her. It was absolutely horrible. I was mopey all the goddamn time, I couldn’t listen to ANY song talking about a girl because it would depress the fuck out of me.

I asked all my friends, and people I knew well if they’d let me date their sister. It was a resounding yes. I’m a very trust worthy guy. I’m the perfect motherfucker you’d want to bring home to mom. So, I thought, my best friend just HAS to say yes. However, I felt there was no way she’d dig me, because at the point I was at my fattest, and was a total goof. I’d dye my hair all sorts of colors. Red, blue, green, yellow, black, all types of shit. I never worked, I just sat at home and played guitar all day. What on Earth would a girl like her want from me?

Then one night at a party, I got to talking to one of my friend’s ex girlfriends. I was drunk, and let it slip I had a thing for the sister, and she couldn’t believe it. Because, apparently, the sister would talk about me non-stop. Non-fucking-stop. She was really, really into me apparently. Thought I was the cat’s pajamas, so to speak.

I couldn’t believe it. It was like, the greatest high I’d ever had. It was such an incredible feeling, I couldn’t f’ning believe it.

So, that was all I needed to hear. My friend HAD to say yes…he just HAD to. Everyone else said they would, and this guy is my best friend. He knows me better than anyone, and why wouldn’t you want your best friend to date your sister? It’s so much better than just some random creep.

So, I approached my friend, I got really high on vicodin before hand so I’d have the nerve. He told me he really appreciated the fact I came to him, gave me a hug, and said we’d talk about it. Whoohoo, good news, baby.

We went to a Greek restaurant, that we always hit up, for lunch. He then gave me his answer.

No.

He fucking said no. I couldn’t believe it. How could he? How fucking could he? He gave me no real reason, and just left it at that. I’d never felt like that before. I was beyond heart broken, man. How could he do this? It took a lot for me to not break down and cry right there, I was so upset. I sound like such a fucking sissy saying all this, but, oh well. How fucking DARE he do this to me? Well, I was beyond bummed for a day or two. How could my so called best friend shoot me down like this? A guy I’d take a bullet for, say no?

Well, a few days later I did something a little stupid. I called her and asked her out. All I wanted was to hear her say yes. That’s it. I just wanted to hear her say yes. I wanted the yes. I wanted that to be all mine. I wanted my own proof that for one moment, her and I could have been. So, I called and asked her if she wanted to hang out next week, have a pizza and watch The Goonies [her ideal date] and she said yes. I told her that I’d have to talk to her brother, get his approval, and if he was cool with it, then we’d be set. If he wasn’t, then it couldn’t happen. She understood.

So, my plan was to call my friend and resubmit my case. To make the motherfucker understand I’m not some back alley rapist or something. The asshole. I’m his all time best friend, he had to hear me out and understand where I was coming from. That I was in love, and very serious about it. So, I called him and left a msg. Then left another. I didn’t hear from him the whole weekend.

So, Monday morning arrived. And, with it. A very, very pissed off friend. He got in my face, screaming his fucking head off about how I went behind his back, and went against his word and just did what I wanted anyway. He never gave me a chance to explain. To tell him that I would have never gone through with it if he’d shot me down a second time. That all I wanted was to just hear her say yes. My best friend, in the whole world, never gave me a chance to tell my side of the story.

I’ve maybe spoke to him once since then. He got married and everything.

So, instead of being with the girl of my dreams, I lost that, as well as my best friend. Really, this was the exact opposite of everything I was shooting for. Not exactly a slam dunk. Oh, and at one point I think she ended up dating a guy who use to hit her. So, my friend made the right choice.

Goddamn.

[jobber123]

I had a beautiful 100 year old french chaise lounge. It looked great and it was unbelievable to lay down on. Other than beds and tv's this is really the only actual piece of furniture i've owned that I would really care if something happened to it.

I met this girl at a bar and hung out with her/went on a few dates over a couple weeks. Then one night we went out and got wasted. Came back to my apartment, and ended up on the chaise. After awhile she passed out, and I got up to go watch tv and ended up falling asleep. When I woke up I went to check on her and the fucking dirty pig pissed herself on my goddamn french chaise. It was the end of her and the couch. Awful, awful, awful experience.

[Caliber]

Hahah, oh man, that's terrible. She must have been so embarrassed.

[parallax1978]

Caliber you really should have went out with her anyway (if she would be willing) you get MAYBE 1 - 3 chances at love like that in a life time... and if this guy was really your friend he would have understood that... I'm sure you've thought about that in the time since, and this is little consolation... but that's my take on it.

[Caliber]

You know, the number one thing people say to me after hearing the story is "So, did you end up going out with her?"

There's no way that could have happened. My friend would have actually kicked my ass, I'm sure. Plus I'm sure he would have trashed me to his parents, despite them loving me for years and years. And yeah, I don't know why he said no. I truly don't. I was his best friend in the entire world, and vice versa. I would have taken a bullet for him, yet I'm not good enough to date his sister? I wasn't a creep, I wasn't a guy who banged a lot of chicks. Hell, I was a virgin until I was 22 [by choice], and didn't date often because I wanted to make sure I spent my time with the right women.

She has a kid, and she's married now. I like to tell people I'm over it, but any girl I'm into, celebrity [Sophie Simmons, Anne Hathaway, Kat Dennings] or else wise is because they look like her. Still haven't found the personality to match though. Well, except for Sophie Simmons, but uh, I don't see that happening anytime soon.

[parallax1978]

Well I hope you don't take this the wrong way then... but you probably didn't want her as much as you want the idea of her otherwise

"My friend would have actually kicked my ass, I'm sure. Plus I'm sure he would have trashed me to his parents, despite them loving me for years and years."

wouldn't have mattered. I know it is a chick flick cliché but it is true if you want something bad enough you will do whatever it takes and not let things like that stand in your way, so in the long run you made the right decision for both of you I'd say.

[scottyflamingo]

You shoulda whipped his ass Cal. Even if you took a beating, he looks like an ass and you look like a hero.

[Caliber]

No, trust me, I wanted her. I knew at that point there was nothing I could do.

Because, while I was in love with her, she wasn't in love with me. Sure, she had a crush, but she wasn't going to go against her brother, who meant EVERYTHING to her. If she'd been in love, and said "Caliber, I don't care what my brother says, I want to be with you" then fuck it, I would have. If I knew that I'd have to fight him every single day for the rest of my life I would have done it. Her feelings for me were enough to build on, but not enough for her to go against her family [because my friend would have turned his family against me]

And Scotty, looking back on it, I really should have. I was just so surprised at the whole thing, you know? But at the time I was just...I was messed up in the head with everything. He was like my brother, and I didn't want to fight him. Plus, I didn't have an ounce of muscle on me, and he was pretty ripped. Although, as days went by, I became angrier and angrier with him, and I'd love to knock him out just once for what he did.

[magoonie]

It's funny Caliber, reading everything about your expieience shows how totally opposite we handled somewhat similiar situations. This actually doubles as my worst expieience with the opposite sex and probably my third best expieience if I had to rate it. By the way before I get into my story I just want to say, if you feel you did the right thing in that situation, then you did. I'm sorry you have regrets, but at the end of the day you have to live with yourself and stick to your morels as cheesy as that sounds. Now onto my Dawson Creekesque story.

Senior Year of High School, I was 18 as was one of my best friends Chris. We had been friends since middle school, had done so much together, we're on the football team together, had ran from the cops together, etc. He had a girlfriend, Anne and I'm guessing you can see where this all is going. We started out as kinda friends, at first honestly I found her kind of annoying, but after getting a couple of classes together started really talking more and more. On the weekends when we would have our little parties on Pine Island, she would talk to me more than Chris. One weekend she wasn't around and Chris ended up making out with another girl. I don't know why I mention it, maybe it puts me in a slightly better light. I kept his secret which bothered me as me and Anne had become rather close friends.

Anyway, soon enough I started to realize I was falling for her, hard but swore to myself I wouldn't do anything about it as this was my best friends girlfriend. Well one night on the Island we had a party by the end of the night everybody had left and the ones that were still around were passed out drunk. So me and Anne take a bottle of southern comfort to the other side of the island on a beach. This had bad idea written all over it, it was fall in Florida so not too hot but not cold in the slightest, a beach, an almost full moon and liquor. But I honestly just went with her to talk, hang out and drink. Well we drank, talked, I let a slight piece of my feelings slip, she told me she was feeling the same way. Then she kissed me, at this point I should have pushed her away and said no but I was an idiot 17 year old so of course I kissed her back and we ended up having sex. It wasn't my first time but it was my first time where I felt that real connection, it was fantastic. And yes any name you are thinking or calling me I have called myself. I was racked with guilt but surprisingly she wasn't, that should have tipped me off.

Anyway, this went on for five months or so, she kept shoveling me the age old line of "I'm leaving him but news not a good time" and I believed her as by then I was full on in love with her. I don't know if any of you have gone through this but it is heart wrenching, every time I was alone with her I was in ecstasy, afterwards I was racked with guilt, then when I would see her and Chris together I was full of jealousy, anger and it would hurt. But it would hurt more before too long.

One day I got a call from my other best friend Bill, "Did you hear Anne cheated on Chris?" was the first thing he said. My stomach sank and I was drenched with fear, Chris had found out, how? I asked very softly "do you know with who?" and then I got an answer that just rocked me, "yeah, Steve, can you believe it?" . Now, I hated Steve, he had wormed his way into our little circle of friends and was just an obnoxious asshole. He would constantly rip on me for a play I fucked up that cost us a game. He knew it bothered me and he just kept pouncing on it. So to say this pissed me off was an understatement.

Chris after a big fight (he punched a hole in his wall pretty big) he apparently was able to put it behind and keep the relationship going, I wasn't so forgiving. That weekend, we were all hanging out and the two of them were being lovey dovey crap which was making me boil. I was drinking a lot that night, at one point Anne asked me to go walk with her in our secret code we had come up with but I just gave her a very steely eyed glare. After copious amounts of alcohol, I finally said something to her "so Steve huh?" in front of everybody. She didn't say anything but there was a big fear in her eyes. Chris thinking I was trying to defend him in all this said "it's ok gooner, we are getting past it and honestly it doesn't concern you" I shot back " actually it does concern me Chris" I don't know why I was slinging my venom at him, to this day I don't know but I was drunk, hurt and angry so not much logic went into my thinking that night. After I said that I got up, took three shots really fast as I knew what was coming, I looked over saw tears start to go down Annes cheeks (I asked her about those tears later, she said they were because she saw how badly she hurt me but in my own mind I think they were from Chris about to find out about us). As I was taking my shots, I could see Chris looking at me staring at Anne then back to her and you could see the lightbulb go off in his head. All he said was "Really?" to her, she nodded as she was sobbing and as I was taking my last shot.

Before I put the shot glass down he had tackled me down and at first I took every punch, not fighting back. Soon our other friends were starting to pull him off of me and Anne was screaming "Stop it!" and right as he was pulled off he screamed "shut the fuck up you fucking bitch slut" ( that is seriously how he said it) and with that I was up and with my friends still holding him I barreled into him with a tackle that would have made Golberg go "damn". We fought for a good while, it was hellacious, worst fight I've been in by far, I have a scar above my right eyebrow and another scar on my left arm. Chris has a scar right below his lip, we really fucked each other up that night. Eventually after many tries we were broken up and went our respective ways (each of us carrying a bottle). Anne checked on both of us to make sure neither of us were really hurt and then left.

That Monday at school we both went to our spot where our group hung out in the morning, I don't think either me or Chris wanted to back away and leave the group, very alpha male shit. We both looked like hell, black eyes, bandages, bruises. Nothing was said yet until Anne came over, she just said sorry very meekly and handed us each a letter and walked away. I read the letter later during my first class, it actually was a very beautiful letter, saying she really did love me and our time together was great but she also loved Chris and couldn't choose between us. At lunch that day Charlie came up to me and said what I was thinking "what'd your letter say" (any trust either of us had for her was way gone) so I said "switch?" and we did and his letter was kinda like mine but the ending was the same " I can't be with either of you". After I read it I told him I was sorry and I never meant to hurt him but I was in love with her. He gave me a very angry look and we went into a very long conversation/ fight (of the verbal kind this time thankfully). We ended up skipping our next class, got in my car and went to an abandon house we use to skip class and smoke weed at. This scared me at first as I wondered if one of us would end up burying a body. We talked and fought for hours but ended up shaking hands and even hugging(!). In the next year or so she would slip into little relationships or quick flings with the both of us. Chris would get me back in a way by sleeping with another girlfriend I had later on, I deserved it and no fight was had.

Anne moved away a couple of years after high school, she spent her last night in town with me (I still wonder if it was because she wanted to be with me or because Chris was in a relationship at the time) and it was really great. Last I heard she was in the navy and living a good life. Me and Chris are still good friends, funny enough last night I was at his house for a New Years Eve Shinndig. He's married now with two kids (before he introduced me to his future wife he told me "do not fuck this one! I really like her" and I didn't), his kids even call me Uncle Brian, or Uncle Bri Bri as the three year old calls me.

Wow this was much more long winded than I planned it to be, sorry. Anyway Caliber it shows you how strange life is, you did everything right, lost your best friend and never got the girl. I did everything wrong and was a grade a asshole, kept my best friend and got the girl for at least a little bit. Although while I wouldn't change anything honestly I wouldn't recommend going through all that.

[Caliber]

Great story, Mag. I love stories like that. That's just life, you know? That's living. I mean, it may cut you to shreds both physically and emotionally, but I think it's all worth it. As terrible as my experience was, I'm still glad it happened.

I just know if I called her again, I would have looked like a creep. It would have just gotten worse. Had she ever, at one point said "Look, I love you, and I don't care what my brother or my family says, I want to be with you" I would have done it. I would have taken on all comers. There's nothing I wouldn't have done. But the relationship just wasn't there.

I do have a story similar to yours.

I had a friend who was also a best friend. Yet, he was one of those guys who's the asshole of your group. Kinda like that Steve guy you talked about. I loved the guy, but there were times I wanted him dead. No joke.

So, he started dating this girl whom he was absolutely, as deep as you can get, in love with. She had dad issues though, so that'll tell you right then he should have never messed with her. Well, he did. And he got FUCKED over. She destroyed him. But at the same time, in a way, he had it coming. He could be a real prick. Well, they broke up, and for a while her and I started hanging out. She was great. She was so much fine. She would not stop talking to me about how much she loved me, and how she wanted a guy like me, yadda this, yadda that. Well, one night we're at a party, and we're both drunk as shit, and while we're dancing she says...

"Why didn't you ever make a move? You could have had me...you still could"

So, I decide we need to go back to my place and watch The Punisher [this was around 2004, and me being the big Punisher fan, would never shut up about it]. I was gonna make my move, but the second we sat down we passed out.

Well, the next night has arrived. She's gonna come over, and I get a little drunk, and a little stoned. I consult my friend and say "Dude, I'm gonna tell her how I feel. She's dropped so many hints, I need to do this" and my friend, knowing women as well as anyone ever, said "Don't. Don't do it."

She arrives, and we start drinking. We're watching TV, and I say "Do you remember the other night, you asked me what I wanted in life? Well...I want you".

She laughed. Oh man did she laugh.

She got me down, and that effectively killed our relationship. Even though she kept telling me how much she loved me, and how she wanted me, and everything else in the World, apparently she didn't mean it. I could have fucked her, I'm sure. But, I didn't want just sex, I wanted everything. Corny as that sounds.

Pretty embarassing experience. But I did write a great song about her, so that's tops. If anyone wants to hear it, check it on out... www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=40202&content=music It's called Island Girl.

So, a few months go by, and my friend who told me not to go after her, ends up fucking her. I don't care, cuz I'm over it. But my original friend, he finds out about it. He shows up to my house and is like "She fucked him....she fucked MY BEST FRIEND SINCE I WAS 5 YEARS OLD. I've got a plan. First, I'm gonna kill her two dogs. I'm gonna poison them. Then I'm gonna hurt her, and hurt him. I don't know how yet"

Honest to God, he was serious as a heart attack. If he hadn't come to me first, he would have done it. I know it. It took me hours, but I talked him out of it, and even convinced him it didn't happen. I was able to tell him that what he heard, wasn't true, and that whoever said it got their facts wrong.

Man, it could have been real ugly.

And Mag, I don't think you're asshole for it. Had you just fucked her because you wanted to, then yeah. But you can't help who you fall in love with. It's not like you wanted that.

[magoonie]

Good story Caliber, yeah like you I like hearing real life stories. As for your original story I'm sure you did the right thing. When you start off a relationship with the family against you it's a hard road ahead. You get in the position of having her choose between you and her family and if she loves her family you end up with her resenting you little by little.

And no it's not corny to want more than just sex, it sounds like you got to a place pretty young that took me until just recently to get to. It's probably for the best you didn't end up with the girl anyway, she sounded like she was just going to screw with you, damaged goods per se. Your friend does sound like a bit of a prick though, sorry but if he was broken up with the girl, he shouldn't have made that big a deal about it. I can understand being a little pissed and hurt but talking about killing her pets and hurting them both is just going too far. A couple of years ago I ran into Steve, he was working some shit shop at an auto parts store which I don't judge since we've all had shit jobs and on hard times. But all he did was complain about his life, his ex wife, his crap trailer, just everything. He even hinted at wanting to borrow money and I hadn't seen him in years. I had cancer at the time and I thought I was doing better than him by a mile. So I got some smug satisfaction off of that.

I got a good story that had me feel mortified and embarresed but it turned out really great. I was at a bar, I guesse it would be five years ago now, I was having a couple of drinks with a friend playing pool. I went to the bathroom and when I came out I noticed my friend was talking to a girl at the bar. What didn't make sense at the time is, this friend was very shallow, great guy in every other respect but when it came to women, he went for looks above everything else. The women he was talking to was good looking, sure, but her friend next to her was stunning, drop dead gorgeous and he was totally ignoring her. So I went over there, patted my friend on the back, said hi and introduced myself to the women he was talking to then Immediatly turned my attention to her friend. Before I could even get out "hi my name is Brian", my idiot friend says "don't bother she's deaf", I shot him the biggest fuck you loom imaginable. I knew a little sign language since my friend Eric came back from Iraq with a stroke and couldn't talk well so he signed. So I signed "hello my name is Brian, you?" (I later found out I fucked up on the signing) and she gave this big smile and said " I can read lips hon", she was honestly a little hard to understand but if I concentrated I could understand her. We got to talking (me being an idiot I would sometimes turn my head to look at something mid sentence and very softly she would just grab my face and turn my head back to her), talking to her I found out guys would either ignore her or start talking to her and get away once they found out she was deaf which still pisses me off. after an hour or so I asked if she wanted to get out of there.

We get back to my apartment at the time and my norm, like you putting on Punisher (really?) was to put on some music when I brought a girl back to my place. This time not thinking I put the music on, grabbed a couple of beers and since I was a little blitzed I started singing along for a few seconds. I then realized what I was doing and who I was with. I profusely apologized and went to turn the music off but then she grabbed me and just shook her head no. Then she put her hand on my throat and gave the "go on" symbol with her other hand. I gotta say that was a really great night and the two nights after that actually.

[Caliber]

Haha, at the time I wouldn't shut up about The Punisher, and she kept saying she wanted to watch it. So, yeah, what sets the mood better than Frank Castle?

My last girlfriend had deaf parents. So I was always around def people. Me personally, I never had a problem with def folk. I'd date a def chick no problem. But I know exactly what you mean, it's kind of a fine line to walk with them. You either start talking and turn your head, or don't move your lips clearly. Then if you stare them dead in the eye, talk slowly, and over-pronounce every word, they think you're treating them like a child.

I did enjoy learning sign language though.

[parallax1978]

The real sweet spot is a chick that can't talk... just saying... ;D

My worst experience is the first Mrs. Parallax1978... its not particularly interesting. We didn't get along, fought all the time, and she eventually started screwing around and decided to leave me... which sucked but was also kind of a relief. But the real insulting par to the story is that she left in the most cowardly way possible took the car while I was at work left me with no ride home, came home to a Dear Parallax1978 letter. Which again sucked but they most insulting thing was when I went to take a #2 and found that she had not only taken the unopened rolls of toilet paper but the paper that was on the roll as well! This forced me to duck walk all the way out to the kitchen to get some paper towels... which she had ALSO taken... I'll spare you the details of anything further. When I confronted her about this she said "WTFE I bought the groceries last week so that was my stuff"

A year later we were legally divorced (I live in a red state so they have an archaic law that makes you be separated for a year before we you can get divorced). Needless to say Mrs. Parallax1978 the 1st and I haven't spoken since.

[scottyflamingo]

Man, total confessional stuff here. Good stories. Guess I'll bite.

I got totally Catfished.

It was 2000, so chat rooms were still a big deal. Meet a chick online hit it off, sparks fly. We exchange pics and she is a total babe, TOO much of a babe, but we have a way of ignoring these things when it is something we want. Girl tells me she's an ex-Stripper and did some modeling, thus the pics high quality.

We keep talking and then she drops bombshell #1, she isn't 26, she's 37, and she has a kid. try and cut things off and she's all crying and says she's gonna end it, as in life. So now I am totally freaked out because I'm thinking someone could die from a relationship with me. I talk her down off the ledge and keep talking with her out of guilt. Eventually it calms down and we are getting along again. I ask her if she has anything else she's been hiding and she admits she has ANOTHER kid.

But I am a masocistic dumbass so I keep it going. Eventually we decide to meet, she brings the two kids and surprise, looks nothing like her picture. First, I seriously doubt she was even 37, probably more like 41. Second, overweight, not the Mom from Honey Boo Boo fat, but not remotely in shape. Talk about an akward weekend.

Finally she goes back home and then her Mom calls me and says that I need to stay the hell out of her life and that she's a MARRIED woman. She had told me her mom was an abusive monster, so I didn't fully believe it, so I called her and she admitted the truth.

So no fist fights, but I've probably scarred my soul more than any of you.

[Caliber]

Haha, holy shit, Parallax, that had me laughing really hard. That honestly sounds like my ex girlfriend, just a completely selfish bitch. For like a year, I would always make her lunch for work. I dug doing it, because when I'm in a relationship I really want to make said person happy. So, one day she doesn't work, and my shift makes it so I need a lunch. I ask her to make it for me, and she says no. I say "What the fuck? I make yours ALL the time!" to which she says "well, I guess you shouldn't have made mine". Goddamn, I could NOT fucking believe that. Still the most disgusting thing a woman has ever said to me. Bitch.

And Scotty, I know how that online shit can go. There's been a time or two where I've gotten into a girl online. Only once did we meet though. We had talked online for a while, and we moved on to the phone. We would literally sit on the phone for 8-10 hours, no problem, just talking up a storm. Well, she'd sent me these pictures and she was looking really, really cute. This was 2000, so it wasn't that easy to get photographs online, and it looked like a scan of a real photo.

So, we meet, and YUP, she's about 30lbs heavier, with TERRIBLE skin, and all of a sudden a lot different than the girl I was talking to on the phone. After that date, I never talked to her again. I changed my IM name, never answered my phone, and she got the hint. It may sound mean to all of a sudden not dig her because she wasn't nearly as cute, but that's how it happens. Attraction is 50% of a relationship. If it's not there, it won't work. Plus, she was all of a sudden weird, so who knows, I could have been talking to a totally different person on the phone.